首页 -> 2006年第10期

父亲给儿子的一封信

作者:楚楚水




  Dear son,
  The day that you see me old and I am already not, have patience and try to understand me....
  
   If I get dirty when eating... if I can not dress... have patience.
  Remember the hours I spent teaching it to you.
  
  If, when I speak to you, I repeat the same things thousand and one times... do not interrupt me... listen to me.
  When you were small, I had to read to you thousand and one times the same story until you get to sleep....
  When I do not want to have a shower, neither shame me nor scold me....
   Remember when I had to chase you with thousand excuses I invented, in order that you wanted to bath....
  When you see my ignorance on new technologies... give me the necessary time and not look at me with your mocking smile....
  I taught you how to do so many things... to eat good, to dress well... to confront life….
  
  When at some moment I lose the memory or the thread of our conversation... let me have the necessary time to remember... and if I cannot do it, do not become nervous... as the most important thing is not my conversation but surely to be with you and to have you listening to me....
  If ever I do not want to eat, do not force me. I know well when I need to and when not.
  When my tired legs do not allow me walk...give me your hand... the same way I did when you gave your first step.
  And when someday I say to you that I do not want to live any more... that I want to die... do not get angry... some day you will understand....
  Try to understand that my age is not lived but survived.
  Some day you will discover that, despite my mistakes, I always wanted the best thing for you and that I tried to prepare the way for you....
  You must not feel sad, angry or impotent for seeing me near you. You must be next to me, try to understand me and to help me as I did it when you started living.
  Help me to walk... help me to end my way with love and patience. I will pay you by a smile and by the immense love I have had always for you.
  I love you son....
  Your father
  
  孩子:
  哪天你看到我日渐老去,身体也渐渐不行,请耐着性子试着了解我……
  如果我吃得脏兮兮,如果我不会穿衣服……有耐性一点。
  你记得我曾花多久时间教你这些事吗?
  如果,当我一再重复述说同样的事情……不要打断我,听我说……
  
  你小时候,我必须一遍又一遍地读着同样的故事直到你静静睡着……
  
  当我不想洗澡,不要羞辱我也不要责骂我……
  你记得小时后我曾编出多少理由,只为了哄你洗澡……
  
  当你看到我对新科技的无知,给我一点时间,不要挂着嘲弄的微笑看着我……
  我曾教了你多少事情啊……如何好好地吃,好好地穿……如何面对你的生命……
  如果交谈中我忽然失忆不知所云,给我一点儿时间回想……如果我还是无能为力,请不要紧张……对我而言重要的不是对话,而是能跟你在一起,和你的倾听……
  
  当我不想吃东西时,不要勉强我。我清楚知道该什么时候进食。
  当我的腿不听使唤……扶我一把……如同我曾扶着你踏出你人生的第一步。
  当哪天我告诉你不想再活下去了……请不要生气……总有一天你会了解……
  
  试着了解我已是风烛残年,来日可数。
  有一天你会发现,即使我有许多过错,我总是尽我所能要给你最好的……
  
  当我靠近你时不要觉得感伤,生气或无奈。你要紧挨着我,如同我当初帮着你展开人生一样的了解我,帮我。
  
  扶我一把……用爱跟耐心帮我走完人生。我将用微笑和我始终不变无边无际的爱来回报你。
  我爱你孩子……
   你的父亲