首页 -> 2008年第12期
《六人行》咖啡馆
作者：杨思晴
是朋友和家人出马的时候了。这间小小的咖啡屋，就是这几个好朋友心灵的避风港。累了、倦了、伤心了、委屈了……来这里好了。喝上一杯友人为你专门沏上的“爱心牌”咖啡，道出你满腹的牢骚、不解和苦涩，这时候，你会发现，自己的心情也会随之舒展开来……
【原声重现】
Ross: (mortified) Hi.
Joey: This guy says“hello”, I wanna kill myself.
Monica: Are you okay, sweetie?
Ross: I just feel like someone reached down my throat, grabbed my small intestine, pulled it out of my mouth and tied it around my neck 6....
Chandler: Cookie? 7
Monica: (explaining to the others) Carol moved her stuff out today.
Phoebe and Joey: Ohh.
Monica: (to Ross) Let me get you some coffee.
Ross: Thanks.
Phoebe: Ooh! Oh! (She starts to pluck at the air just in front of Ross.)
Ross: No, no don't! Stop cleansing my aura8! No, just leave my aura alone, okay? I'll be fine, alright? Really, everyone. I hope she'll be very happy.
Monica: No you don't.
Ross: No I don't, to hell with her, she left me!
Joey: And you never knew she was a lesbian...
Ross: No!! Okay?! Why does everyone keep fixating on that? She didn't know, how should I know?
Joey: Alright Ross, look. You're feeling a lot of pain right now. You're angry. You're hurting. Can I tell you what the answer is? (Ross gestures his consent.)
Joey: Strip joints! Come on, you're single! Have some hormones!
Ross: I don't want to be single, okay? I just...I just- I just wanna be married again! (Rachel enters in a wet wedding dress and starts to search the room.)
Chandler: And I just want a million dollars! (He extends his hand hopefully.)
【实时解读】
罗斯向大家打招呼，他那哀怨又痛苦的一声Hello，好像是在宣布世界末日的到来，还不如不说。难怪乔伊听他这样问好，“连死的心都有了（I would kill myself）”。莫妮卡关切地问了句“你还好吗？”罗斯一脸哀怨地大倒苦水“那感觉糟糕透顶，就好像是什么东西伸到我的喉咙里，抓住我的肠子，把它从我的嘴里揪出来，绕在我的脖子上一勒……”天啊，这样的描述想让人不难受都难。原来，罗斯的老婆大人另结同性新欢，已经正式向他提出了分手，这几天正在兴师动众地搬出他们的爱窝呢。听了罗斯的悲惨遭遇，古里古怪的菲比跑到他身边，煞有介事地做出“驱魔”动作，想替罗斯把身上的霉气赶走。罗斯见状表情更是绝望至极，于是大叫：别闹了，饶了我吧。菲比见好友已然“无药可救”，于是缩回手来，说了句：“那好吧，你愿意这么消沉下去，就由你去吧，反正那是你自己的事情。”看着罗斯一脸消沉的表情，乔伊也看不下去了。心想一个堂堂大男人，怎么感情这事儿上可以这么拖泥带水呢？他循循善诱地开导罗斯:“好吧，兄弟，你看，你现在感觉很心痛，你很生气，也很受伤，我能告诉你答案是什么吗？你又回归单身汉生活了，别郁闷了，有无数姑娘等着你呢，有点骨气好不好！”从排比的气势来看，这说法倒是很有点莎士比亚戏剧的风范呢。罗斯听了，也点头同意，觉得自己这样实在太窝囊了一点。乔伊趁热打铁，继续说道：“就是嘛，男子汉志在四方，应该洒脱一点的！”
罗斯刚刚沮丧地大叫“我只是想再次拥有幸福美满的婚姻啊”。话音刚落，就见身着白色婚纱、浑身湿透的瑞秋失魂落魄地跑进来，看得在场人目瞪口呆，难道真有“天上掉下个林妹妹”这等好事？见罗斯的这招儿灵验，钱德勒也跟风张开双臂，对着苍天大叫“我只是想要大把大把的美金啊”，反应速度还真是蛮快的呢。
【原声重现】
Monica: Rachel!
Rachel: Oh God Monica! Hi! Thank God! I just went to your building and you weren't there and then this guy with a big hammer said you might be here and you are, you are!
Waitress: Can I get you some coffee?
Monica: (pointing at Rachel) Decaf. (to All) Okay, everybody, this is Rachel, another Lincoln High survivor.(to Rachel) This is everybody, this is Chandler, and Phoebe, and Joey, and- you remember my brother Ross?
Rachel: Hi, sure!
Ross: Hi. (They go to hug but Ross's umbrella opens. He sits back down frustrated again. A moment of silence follows as Rachel sits and the others expect her to explain why she comes here.)